"Show and Tell" in Your Writing

One of the common problems I have been running across lately in my work as a freelance editor, is that there is a lot of “telling” in the writing, and not much “showing.” The writer "tells" us to be afraid, that the character is arrogant & mean, that the house is falling apart, etc. But the writer fails to create a sense of dread/wonder/affection for the character/etc.

Instead, the writer should be MAKING the reader afraid, SHOWING them the arrogance of the character and how dilapidated the house is, and so on.

For example, a writer who is only “telling” things might say, “The spooky old house was falling apart.”

But this is far too much “telling.”  You have just told the reader that they are supposed to be afraid of the house, instead of creating a sense of dread and fear in them as you describe the house in better detail. The reader will not feel something just because you tell them to, you have to CREATE that mood.

Also: HOW is it falling apart? SHOW how it is falling apart: describe the windows cracked, the rotten floorboards, the curtains ragged, the paint on the walls (inside and out) faded and chipping away, etc. Give them a specific image in their mind, so they can visualize the details.

You should also use sensory descriptors and imagery to create the mood and images you wish to convey. Use sensory descriptors to get the reader to FEEL the danger: sight, sound, smell, etc.

Some examples:

The rustling of the leaves in the cold wind made him look over his shoulder.  For a moment, the bizarre shapes of the gnarled, twisted branches as they shook in the wind made Peter they were trying to grab at him from all sides.

Out of the corner of her eye, Sam thought she saw the unmistakable skeleton of a dead dog, its collar still around its neck bones, laying at the foot of the doorway.  But when she looked straight at that spot, the bones were gone.

Suddenly, an overwhelming stench hit him.  It was the smell of very rotten meat and organic decay.  It was the smell of death. His stomach turned over, and he gagged, almost vomiting.  The next thing he knew, the scent was gone and he could breathe again.

A freezing wind blew out of the woods.  It was unnaturally cold, even for this time of year, and was blowing in the opposite direction of the rain.  It was as if the woods had a wind of its own.  Holly felt the chill of it deep in her bones.

If possible, evoke emotions and the readers’ own memories to help create a stronger image, and more powerful writing. Make the reader fell anger at the injustice of the villain’s actions against the hero (or another character), or comfortable & safe at the smell of pie cooking in a kitchen – just before you have the demonic-werewolf-ghost jump through the window and attack someone.

Another example: Instead of calling someone “villainous”, SHOW us how they can be mean and evil.  If a main character savagely kicks a homeless man who is merely sleeping in a freezing alleyway, for example, or laughs at the sight of a bully beating up a smaller child, we know that character is not one of the good guys.  Such “Random Acts of Villainy” can be just as effective as “Random Acts of Kindness” in SHOWING the reader who your characters are.

One of my favorite characters on TV is Adrian Monk.  Every episode we are “shown” his major character traits:  He has a keen eye for detail, and a passion to make things right in the world.  The writers show this by giving him OCD, and grief over the murder of his late wife.  His OCD causes him to notice details that pass by most people, but it is not focused solely on crime scenes: he also obsesses on the placement of every item in the room, the socks someone is wearing, the idea that he might have left his stove on back home, and so on.

Yes, you should have a list of descriptive terms for every character, but you should not share this list with your readers. Instead, try to demonstrate how each character is worthy of those descriptors.

Superhero Secret Identities in the Era of Facial Recognition Technology

The world is fast changing for superheroes, and the comic book industry and Superhero motion picture plotlines have yet to acknowledge it properly.  It is simply this:

The concept of a “Secret Identity” is in grave danger of becoming obsolete.

In the real world, we are now in a time where almost every major street corner or storefront has some kind of video monitoring, as well as private individuals posting images of themselves and everyone around them on the internet.  Even if you don’t post photos of yourself, there is still an almost certain chance that there is a photo of you somewhere on the internet and/or in a government database.

Facial Recognition technology is being used not only by the government, but in the private sector by companies such as airports, stadiums, and even NASCAR.  Facebook has used it to “Tag” and match up images of people—even if the person in the photo does not have a Facebook account.  Also, while it is primarily used to compare facial features, similar technology that will recognize an unusual walking stride (such as a slight limp) or another body movement (e.g., facial twitch or another nervous habit) is expected to be commonplace in the near future.

Currently, Facial Recognition (FR) technology is able to recognize a person, whether or not they are wearing glasses, a false beard, a different hair color, or any number of classic Secret Identity tricks.  One article on FR tech makes it plainly clear that “Artificial mustaches, fake wigs or mustaches will not work, because they do not change the distances between points on the face.” [http://www.worldthinktank.net/pdfs/FacialRecognitionCountermeasures.pdf]   Any tricks that might be used to change these vital measurement points are detectable by the technology, which can use heat signatures and other methods to determine that a non-organic and unnatural object is on the face.  For example, fake eyebrows or a false nose would change the measurement points, BUT these alterations show a different heat signature than the person’s skin, so the technology knows to ignore them and go with the real measurements instead.

Even Batman’s cowl could prove ineffective defense against more advanced FR tech.  While it might fool the simpler FR software, in that the partial mask would negate their ability to recognize the presence of any face at all, many FR programs need only a portion of a person’s face before they can make a match.  At this point in the technology, many programs need just about half of a face, and some of the contemporary versions of Batman portray him showing the bottom half of his face.

What chance, then, does Superman have of keeping his real identity a secret from the U.S. government or some bad guy’s technological genius, if all he does is throw on a pair of glasses and change into blue jeans?  Realistically, ZERO.

By taking the public photos of Superman and trying to match them to others in a database, the government (or Lex Luthor) only has to run his face through Facial Recognition technology in order to find it matches the Driver’s License photo of Clark Kent— or the photo from his Daily Planet Press Pass, or the photos Jimmy Olsen takes of Clark Kent & others around the Planet’s offices that Jimmy uploads to "The Cloud," etc.

Expert hackers, like DC’s "Oracle" or Marvel's "Cypher", would be able to hack into one or two of the FR software programs that are being used and "convince" the programs to "ignore" Superhero-Secret Identity matches, but there are too many platforms out there and too many different programs being used.  Even some possible Superhero Helper, working 24/7 at hacking and keeping the computers from matching Secret Identities to Superhero Identities, would be unable to keep up with all of them, especially since there are so many in development and so many databases around the world to alter.

Batman (or someone equally tech-savvy) might have some anti-facial-recognition trick or technology of their own.  Currently, nose plugs can change the shape of the nose enough to confuse the FR tech.  The simple act of chewing tobacco or wearing “Dracula-Teeth” (the kind that children play with) can change the jaw line enough to confound the FR tech, since this will change the measurement points for the jaw area.  Certainly Batman would be careful to keep either his Bruce Wayne jaw line or his Batman jaw line distinct by some trick, just as Christian Bale’s Batman made his voice unrecognizable from Bruce Wayne’s by making it more growling and gravelly.  (Batman is, after all, known to be a master of theatrical performance, like his famous fictional predecessor, Sherlock Holmes, so we can expect some amazing FR-foiling theatrical trickery from him.)

It is important to note, however, that these kinds of tricks are not expected to work much farther into the future, as the technology improves.

There IS a product that has been developed to counter facial recognition.  It is a set of glasses that a person can wear, resembling workman's goggles, which create a sort of “white noise” for cameras.  They emit beams of LED light that are invisible to the human eye but bright to electronic camera sensors.  The glasses have 12 beams aimed in the directions from which any FR cameras might be trying to scan.  One drawback is that anyone looking at any electronic photos will know that the wearer had these glasses on.  Another is that the tech is currently bulky and the LED emitters are obvious, so wearing them discretely is not possible at this point – Clark Kent could not integrate these emitters into his current spectacles, for example, without everyone wondering what the heck he was wearing on his face. 

So what does all of this mean for Comic Books and the Superhero genre at large?

Well, considering the public’s love for and fascination with Superheroes and comic-book culture, it’s doubtful that they will be disappearing from our popular culture anytime soon.  As long as the general public is unaware of the prevalence of camera technology, or until such technology is not a part of the public’s cultural self-image, then Superheroes can carry on with their Secret Identities and double lives.

At some point in the future, Clark Kent will have to take off his glasses.  He might start using some Kryptonian technology to change his appearance (similar to the way he recently began using Kryptonian tech to explain his instantaneous costume changes), or he might have to give up having a Secret Identity altogether.  Until then, we will continue to believe that a man can fly, all the while spending his days fooling his Investigative Reporter girlfriend— and the rest of the world— by nothing more than putting on a pair of Ray-Bans.

RECOMMENDED LINKS:

http://www.worldthinktank.net/pdfs/FacialRecognitionCountermeasures.pdf

http://www.japantoday.com/category/technology/view/privacy-visor-glasses-jam-facial-recognition-systems-to-protect-your-privacy

www.digitaltrends.com/mobile/anti-glass-specs-developed-to-block-face-recognition-technology/#!3NW4e

www.slate.com/blogs/future_tense/2013/01/18/isao_echizen_and_seiichi_gohshi_s_privacy_visor_shields_you_from_facial.html

http://www.popularmechanics.com/technology/how-to/software/8-weird-ways-people-are-using-facial-recognition-software#slide-1

http://cons.wonderhowto.com/how-to/stop-facial-recognition-software-from-finding-out-who-you-are-camera-0138980/

So You Want to Be a Freelance Editor...

You've seen how overflowing the current marketplace is with self-publishing writers and would-be e-book authors, and you've recognized the potential profit to you as a possible freelance editor. Now what? Well, here's some things you should know... 

 

(1) In case you haven't watched enough People's Court episodes to know, you need to get EVERYthing in writing-- changes and amendments to contracts included. "Verbal contract" is a joke, and unenforceable by ANY judge or credit agency. Clients will know this and laugh at your repeated requests for payment, and ignore all your phone calls. Any possible changes that you need to make to your estimates of hours must also be in writing.  You're a professional, and professionals have contracts, written estimates, and invoices.  Amateurs and hobbyists have verbal agreements and undocumented phone conversations.  Text messages don't tend to last long enough to act as evidence-- phones get lost and phone companies sometimes delete old text messages.  ONLY get it in email or on paper.

(2) There are some really crappy writers out there, and some really good ones, but they ALL can use an editor--and not all of them realize how MUCH they need one. Unfortunately, they won't all have a positive and agreeable attitude towards your editorial input. You have to be careful to stroke egos, and be prepared for the one who will reject everything you said (no matter how well-stroked their ego), only to go back to the original version (this is often where your paper contract will save you a big loss of time & money).

When I say, "stroke egos", I don't intend for it to be demeaning.  What I mean is, that some writers are very good, but take every little correction to heart as evidence of how supposedly "terrible" they are.  Others shouldn’t even be writing greeting cards, but don’t want to hear that truth.  Yet others are very open to criticism and are too willing to make every change you suggest without question (an editor SHOULD be questioned, as an editor is not a “Book God”).  Most writers are somewhere along this spectrum, and can change their place on it from moment to moment.  Editorial work requires a LOT more people skills than many people think.  Expect to have a lot of long conversations and polite drawn-out disagreements about such trivial things as the placement and use of a comma.

Freelance editing is different from trade editing, in that the freelancer has less control or say in the final outcome of the work.  Instead of working for the entity who's paying for the publishing process, and therefore having more say on what is or isn't in the final print, you work for the writer.  The writer is paying for it all, and therefore has final say on his/her own work.  You have less authority than an editor at a trade publisher, and are less able to insist upon anything.

(3) Some clients will want an edit that's basically just a spell-check, while others will want to have a full "book doctor" job, rewrites and all. Clarify this with the client and put it in the contracts BEFORE you start your work. Restrain your editorial instincts (and grit your teeth to refrain from comments you think OUGHT to be made) when you are asked to only spell-check writing that really needs a major rewrite instead. You can tell them some things (like, "these scenes don't make sense in the order you wrote them in"), but don't let yourself start rewriting unless the client wants that. However, even when the client SAYS they want it, don't be shocked if they end up thinking they know better than you and ignore and/or undo your edits.

(4) Most writers have no idea how many hours it takes to properly edit a document (if you do more than just spell-checking for them, especially) and might object to the number of hours (read: unexpected high cost, if you charge them hourly) of a decent edit. Keep in touch with clients throughout the process, to give them an idea of how it's going, so your hours invested won't be so much of a shock to their pocketbook.

(5) Dedicate as many hours per day as you would be expected to dedicate to an office job somewhere. Don't treat clients as a hobby or part-time job (unless you clarify with them BEFOREHAND in emails that you have another client at the same time, or some other valid professional reason for minimizing your hours). Doing so is VERY unprofessional, and WILL hurt you in the long run. Bad business practices DO haunt you in these days of online reviews and LinkedIn networking, etc. First and foremost, behave and treat your work the same way would expect a true professional in an office to behave and treat their work. Your client is your boss AND your next reference for your "resume" (online reviews, etc), so don't mess around and/or screw him/her over.  Don't try padding your hours, either.  Your client already thinks you're taking too much time and costing too much.  (Besides, that's dishonest-- and honesty ALWAYS makes for good, professional business practices.)

(6) For your first few freelance gigs, you might want to have a more experienced editor look over your work before showing it to the client. This is not to negate your abilities, but an experienced eye DOES pick up on things a less-experienced one misses, and it's a great learning experience that will make you all the more desirable and better-paid in the workforce (freelance or otherwise). Even at my age, another pair of eyes double-checking me has NEVER hurt my work, and only helped it. A good mentor, whether free or paid, is invaluable to a beginning editor.

I think of editing like piano tuning. Some people have an ear for music, and some don't. Having an ear for music can help you get a career in music, but the ear alone won't make you a good piano tuner (just as having an eye for typos does not automatically make someone a good editor). To be a good piano tuner, you need professional training and mentorship (in this, I speak with some personal knowledge, as my brother is a piano tuner with an excellent musical ear). The same is true with editorial work: It's more than just finding typos, it's also knowing some OTHER things to look for/at, AND the people skills needed to deal with authors. There are things that someone of more experience can best teach you. Yes, there ARE those people who stumble into piano tuning/editing and somehow manage to master it alone, but they are doing it the hard way, and (no offense to anyone who might be doing well after stumbling into freelance editing, but...) the quality of their work is USUALLY not as high as the trained piano tuner/editor.

(7) You can never learn too much about copyrights. Really. Some things on the internet might SEEM public domain, or you might THINK you are safe using a certain quote as long as you credit it or get verbal approval, but every single thing MUST be checked and double-checked for legality and reproduction-- text, photos, artwork, quotes, music, etc. There are a LOT of weird copyright issues that have come up for me through the years, that I never expected to be an issue EVER. Nowadays, with the internet, things are actually worse for copyright infringement, but easier for checking out. Never hesitate to send a client to a copyright lawyer if you have ANY doubts or questions (drag them there kicking and screaming, if necessary).

A famous example of bad copyright checking: The "Barney the Dinosaur" show was cancelled because they used a common tune, "This Old Man" redone as "I love you, you love me". They assumed it was so old as to be public domain. It was not, and they were sued.

Another famous example: Weird Al Yankovic parodied a song after merely asking his agent to ask the other agent. Supposedly, everyone was okay with him doing the parody, but it turns out the band he was mimicking said they had never even heard the request to use the song.

Even the famous and successful can sometimes mess up a copyright issue, so a good editor should NEVER assume anything, no matter what verbal assurances their client gives them.

And, of course (which also goes back to my original point)-- Get it IN WRITING from the legal copyright holder.

Lactose-Free Living

Having lived a long time being unable to digest dairy products, I’ve discovered a lot of work-arounds and ways to enjoy the taste of my favorite foods again, without the pain and problems.  I’ve also learned the hard way about some foods I hadn’t ever suspected that I’d end up having to avoid.

    

First, we’ll start with some basics and some helpful facts.

• Lactose-intolerant people CAN have yogurt, as long as it doesn’t have any milk added (such as in a yogurt beverage).  Yes, it goes against all logic, but it’s true.
• We can also have ALL varieties of cheeses and other products that are made from GOAT’S milk.
• From my and other people’s experiences, brand name Kellogg’s Pop Tarts ARE lactose-free, but the generic ones are not.  Go figure.
• Most hot cocoa mixes are NOT lactose free, even when mixed with water only.  Some time ago, Hershey made one that was lactose-free, but they took it off the market.  I have a stockpile of it, but haven’t seen it for sale again since I bought my supply, a long time ago.
• In the frozen pot pie section, Marie Callender's HONEY Chicken Pot Pie is definitely lactose-free, even though they don’t say it on the package.  (NOTE that it’s the HONEY variety, NOT the regular chicken pot pie!)  My daughter and I have enjoyed it before, with no negative repercussions.  This is also not always available and not at all stores, and not all the time, so check around.  If you find it and then can’t find it again, ask your store to make sure they keep carrying it, then keep checking back.  I haven't seen it on the shelves in awhile, but you might still find it out there somewhere.

Here are some lactose-free products, and where to find them in the Chicago suburbs.  Check with online sites for other stores, or with the manufacturers’ websites, if you still can’t find them.

  

Lactaid Milk – Available almost everywhere.

  

Lactaid Brand Ice Cream – Sold at most Meijer stores, but NOT at Jewel or Dominicks (also called "Safeway" in other parts of the USA). The chocolate ice cream is actually rather delicious, but isn’t always in stock.  The other flavors are Vanilla (good, not great) and Butter Brickle (who’d have guessed… it’s supposedly the 3^rd most popular ice cream flavor in the USA!).

  

Beemster Vlaskaas Cheese – Usually in stock at a few Jewel stores, but always in the gourmet cheese area.  Also available online at iGourmet.com and other online vendors, and arrives in perfectly fresh condition.  Not cheap, at about $7-$8 per 8oz piece.  All of the Beemster brand cheeses are lactose-free, but the Vlaskaas tastes most like the yellow cheese we grew up with, except that it’s just a bit drier in texture than Velveeta.  Eat it within the first week, or it tends to get too dry.  It tastes great by itself or sliced thin on sandwiches.  It does melt in a grilled cheese, but just doesn’t taste the same as a Velveeta grilled cheese.   It IS made from actual cow’s milk, but has never even irritated my stomach once in all the many times I’ve enjoyed lots of it. 

NOTE:  On rare occasion it is not in season, and you just can’t get any anywhere.  It does come back around eventually.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B007599SCK/ref=ox_sc_sfl_title_3?ie=UTF8&psc=1&smid=A3HM4Y4MZQ8804

  

Cablanca – (Everybody say “PIZZA!”)  Also usually in stock a few Jewel stores, but always in the gourmet cheese area.  Also available online at iGourmet.com and other online vendors, from which it arrives in perfectly fresh condition.  And... also not cheap, at about $8 per 7oz piece.  This is a goat’s milk cheese, but unlike so many other goat cheeses, this one has the perfect texture and an excellent taste for homemade pizza (yay!).  Shred it directly onto the pizza, as it makes for the best consistency that way.  The flavor is just a bit different than mozzarella, but a very little bit of shredded Beemster cheese on top makes for a great pizza flavor.  You might want to cut off a small bit of the wedge's sideedge (under the wrapper piece) before eating it, since that edge is a bit harder and more dry.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0026S9O60/ref=ox_sc_sfl_title_1?ie=UTF8&psc=1&smid=A1Y9GGZH273SRT

  

Cabot Vermont Cheeses – Only sometimes available at Jewel, BUT do NOT look for it in the gourmet cheese section, instead it’s in the dairy section with the normal cheeses.  You can also order some of these online at iGourmet.com and other online retailers.  Many of Cabot’s cheese products are lactose-free, even though they’re made with real cow’s milk.  So far, I haven’t had any problems with the sharp cheddar, but then I’ve been eating it in only small amounts. A lactose-intolerant gentleman I met at the Jewel near me recommended this brand.  Here’s the company’s website, so you can look over their products.  They also have some lactose-free recipes posted, if you “Select by category” on the left side of the page.http://www.cabotcheese.coop/pages/our_products/product.php?catID=37&id=6

    And in case you want to find it on Amazon or iGourmet…
http://www.amazon.com/Cabot-Extra-Sharp-Cheddar-ounce/dp/B00A4F5ZLK/ref=sr_1_4?s=grocery&ie=UTF8&qid=1359687657&sr=1-4&keywords=cabot+cheese

  

I hope to post a blog in the future which will include a few recipes for the more common foods that we lactose-intolerant people miss, as well as some other advice.

To EVERY Would-Be Author Out There...

I recently met up online with a man who wanted desperately to be an author and not just a writer, and was disappointed after just his first few rejections from major publishing companies (he really hadn't had that many rejections, just unrealistic expectations of how many rejections he should expect).  This had him considering self-publishing.  Then, after looking into self-publishing, he was further disappointed at how much time and money the self-publishing process would cost him, and at the large number of publishing scammers out there.

Sadly, the story he told of getting ripped off is a common one.  Too many authors are drawn in by the promise of a quick publish, or a cheap edit, or similar schemes, and they end up handing over lots of money to people who do them little or no good, or throwing away lots of their own money and time getting their book e-published with no profit, when the only money they should have to spend is on postage.

Remember, there are VERY few writers who have both great ideas and great style, and this great style is usually developed after a LOT of practice, rejection letters, and/or simply many years of living. I've seen some really great ideas, very badly written, get re-worked and published.  I've also seen some really well-written very unimaginative published work more times than I can count, so don't give up, no matter what ANYone might say what to you! 

KEEP SUBMITTING!

 You CAN do it!

 ("Gone With The Wind" was rejected countless times, and ended up becoming a classic.)

Now, as for the edit... 

A really thorough edit, a really GOOD edit, will never cost you less than $3,000.  Anyone offering a "budget deal", as I’ve seen some freelance editors propose, are either just giving it a quick once-over— merely proofreading for spelling & grammar errors— or they're ("oops") suddenly going to find that "it needs a lot more work than the original bid" (gosh! imagine that!).  The most recent book I contract-edited took me about two weeks for just the first few chapters, but it WAS rather poorly written, so it took me much longer than usual. And THAT was only for the first time through, since I had yet to edit the changed version (properly done, there's ALWAYS a second edit for errors that came into the process during changes as well as problems that were missed the first time around, etc., then edits again after typesetting/prepping it for publication). 

If you decide to self-publish, you should expect four rounds of edits or more (two pre-typesetting or pre-final format, two or more post-formatting).  One extra round should be dedicated to graphics, images, page references (if you have an index/contents page/etc), and other extraneous items, since they need special attention.  Also, you must be VERY careful about copyrights and ownership of any images or quotes you use if you self-publish.  You need to be sure that your characters and events do not too closely resemble any real people or events, or other author’s characters and events, to avoid lawsuits down the road.  Non-fiction also requires good fact-checking and source-verification, as well as any possible permissions for quotes, trademarks, etc.  Even the copyright page has to be double-checked, and the legal language of the copyright itself must be correct (you will want to pay a copyright lawyer for that one)! 

Somewhere along the way, you’ll have to do lots of online searching (beyond just Amazon.com) to see if anyone has a title, cover art, or author name too similar to yours (and you should re-check that just before sending it to press).  Then you need an ISDN number assigned to your work.


Eventually, you're ready to go on the market.


If you're self-publishing the RIGHT way, you'll need to create your own imprint and corporate identity. If you’re generating printed material instead of just e-publishing, you should use a printer that is not affiliated with any vanity press. (Trade publishers know ALL the vanity press imprints, so once a book is self-published through any vanity press, the author's online profile will always have that for the trade publisher to find when they consider you for future publication— it's not something the industry should be proud of, but there IS an industry stigma against authors who've self-published, and you will NEVER re-publish through the trades any work that was once self-published.)  E-publishers should also do their best to look like another company approved the work, and not just that the author was able to download it to the internet cheaply.

So that will get you started, but the toughest part of publishing is SALES.

On top of all this work, you'll also need to know about marketing your book (which actually, by the way, starts LONG before it's ready for press/market).  The timing of a book's release-- depending on the book's subject, material, etc.— can be vital, so sometimes— very rarely— a work is held back from market intentionally.
 

(Whew!  Wow!  Let's take a breath... )

Well, that might give you an idea of why it costs so much, and takes so much time.  Too many authors wonder why it takes their book so long to get on the market through the trade publishers, because they don't realize what all is actually involved.  They think that the paper press portion is the major chunk of time, and/or that the editor is just letting it sit on their desk untouched for months on end, but that's a big mistake.  Self-publishing might seem faster, and it sometimes is, but it can also create poor end product, or slip in and out of the market unnoticed.  (Just a "heads-up", here.)  Yes, it CAN sometimes create great product that sells well, but this is rare and difficult.  And, as you've sadly already the hard way, it can lure a lot of scammers to your door.

So you NEED to have some VERY realistic expectations for your work. 

If you trade publish, and if you're lucky, you’ll get a good publisher who really wants to promote your work, and you might be asked to get yourself out there and do events/gigs/etc for publicity.  I have seen at least one great work fail when one author thought his job ended when the book made it to press, and the editor never want to go near that author again.  Also, I've seen an author's willingness to help out and cooperate with the editor as much as possible help sales immensely, as well as make for the editor's future willingness to work with the author again.  (We LOVE writers who take criticism well and want to promote with us.  That does NOT mean you have to accept every change that's asked of you, but it is nice for us not to have to spend hours on the phone trying to talk you into every little thing.)

The one thing to try to remember, the one thing it's hard for EVERY author to remember, is that your writing is not really YOU.  It feels personal when you get rejections, criticism, etc, but it's just some words that you wrote down.  But your work is not YOU.  So any rejection or criticism is NOT a rejection or criticism of you personally, just the words on the page.  Besides, even the great authors have had to do re-writes, changes, and/or abandon work completely.  If anything like that were to happen to you, it would only put you in some pretty impressive company!

BEFORE you e-publish, and end up spending MORE money and time that you'll regret wasting...

Have at least three other professionals read the entire manuscript. These need to be people who will give you brutal, honest, unbiased opinion (Mom and Uncle Fred don’t count). Some writer's groups MIGHT help, but there should be at least a few published authors in the group, to get decent feedback.

If you have submitted your manuscript several publishers and/or agents, submit many more times before you give up. This will give you the better—read “potentially actually profitable”—deal with the least amount of investment and the best return for you.

If you've submitted and been rejected without comment too many times to count, you need to find out WHY it was rejected before you put more money and time into self-publishing. If there's a problem with your manuscript, putting it out there for no one to read and no one to pay for will do nothing for your reputation or your life savings. Perhaps you've just been doing something wrong on the query or the submission process (for example, submitting a cozy tea mystery to a publisher that only publishes tough-guy-dick mysteries), but the manuscript rocks.  OR, perhaps there's a major issue with the plot, characters, or something else that will make it a flop no matter what you do or who reads it.

It is vitally important to know what issues you're dealing with BEFORE you try self-publishing.

I always warn writers—especially new or previously unpublished writers—away from self-publishing, because there are so many issues and problems an inexperienced writer will never anticipate, and because so often unpolished writing gets tons of money wasted on it. If you really want to take the self-publish route, be prepared to invest MORE and to wait even longer.  AND, once it's self-published, it has NO chance of getting picked up by a major publisher (speaking from experience here—there are too many legal and marketing issues to the trade publishing companies if they take on a previously self-published book).

You will NEED a pro editor to go over the manuscript (you might want to do this anyway, even if you end up only submitting to the trades). This is usually fairly expensive, depending upon who you get to do the work, for the edit portion alone (that’s a THOROUGH edit involving lots of contextual comments and the like, not just a spell-check).  Then, after the first round of changes, you will need another round of edits and changes (inevitably, whenever you make changes, things can get more messed up, or there might be other problems that were missed the first time around). 

Then, on top of THAT big cost for the edits, you’ll have MORE expenses— the typesetting, artwork, marketing (HUGE bucks for successful campaigns), etc.

Remember, if you, your Mom, and your best friend are the only ones who think it’s ready for public consumption, then it certainly is NOT.

Yes, it's your precious baby that you've slaved over for countless hours, and yes YOU think it's just perfect, but I promise that you've stared at it so long that you can no longer see some of the problems with it.  NO writer can best edit his or her own work. 

If you want to be able to call yourself a professional, you need to ACT like a professional—make sure your writing is polished, BEFORE you expect to get it published, whether that be by a trade publisher or e-published on Amazon.